Love is amazing. God’s love is in fact the most amazing thing ever. I am astonished at how in times when I feel the most alone he reveals to me how untrue that is.
I went to church this morning. Feeling sad and alone. And guess what? Well God spent the whole service telling me I am not supposed to be alone. Brilliant right! I am so glad to have gotten up this morning and gone to church. To have spent time listening to God remind me that even though he has more than taken the time to spank me over my choices and decision this past year, but that he reminded me that he loves me, he does it for my own good, that he wants me to grow, and not be alone.
I really needed that. Needed the love portion today. Somedays are admonishing, getting told what you are doing wrong, and other days are days when God decides that he has told you enough, you have finally listened and now he wants you to remember that despite your mistakes, your choices and your life, that he loves you, no matter what, and that his mercy is new every morning. Each day we can start over fresh knowing that God loves us, Jesus died for us, and we are made new in him  if we will let him be born in us.
Thank you God for today, and I am grateful and I am hopeful for the future whatever that may be.
My love always,
Lady X
P.S. Later tomorrow or so I will post on the conversation between me and Carlos. It was sad, and happy and amazing, and sad some more and seeing him broke my heart all over again. Seeing the pain in his face, seeing his heartache made mine worse. But God is good, and he is going to do good works in Carlos and me, and maybe, just maybe with God’s help and grace Carlos and I will find a way to be friends.

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