Tortured Artist

Melancholy music is in fact bad for me. I swear it enhances my need to create art in a very vibrant and intense way but also makes it where I am tortured by images, and words and idea. This torture has gone on now for a week. And while last night I was ready to write me some girl porn in an effort to try to calm the creative fires even for just a few moments I found myself too tired to pursue it. Perhaps tomorrow when I don’t work. For now I will jot down ideas for this girl porn in an effort to make sure that it is far better and superior to the very last one I wrote which so far is my best one.

As I sit in the cafe at work, thinking of how to pursue this idea of fresh lady stories, I think about the store, perhaps an intense closing scene with a stranger. Then I think of an airport scene with a long gone love, perhaps a steamy bar scene with a close friend. I am not sure. But whatever it is, I promise not to disappoint. I think that an emotional reunion or a steamy stranger is where I am going to go with this. Perhaps my ever favorite imaginative character Matthew will find his way into some actual text rather than just in my imagination.

As I look at the clock, with thirty minutes to spare, I wonder if I could start it now. I have several readers that would be happy to see my run back to the illicit end of my writing. I also know that I am my own worst critic and I won’t post it if I can’t finish it and make it perfect. My last effort at a good dirty story was fail. I was unable to finish it. I find that it takes emotional events for me to create that and in a way that is tasteful yet spicy. Which is what I have to do in order to feel good about my art. Today’s post is ramblings, I don’t really feel like it has good direction or good intelligent text that can emotionally draw you in but I am happy to post it, it helps to get something out for me, and when I miss a post I feel like I missed out on a chance to get all this text out of me. So in the days when my writing is unimpressive and boring I ask your forgiveness. It is just an effort to get some of the ramblings out of my head so I don’t have to hear them on an endless loop. I always hope that getting some of it out, no matter how unintelligible that I have won a small battle against myself and I can in fact sleep a little better.

Espresso or no espresso? (fish flakes)

And if I haven’t mentioned my idea of a blog of love letters, I am currently working on seeing if my grande green tea with two honeys customer will collaborate with me. I really want a male perspective and I think if I do the female and he does the male I can get a unique view. It should be interesting and I am excited to get started on it soon. I have some letters I have written but I may start from scratch. It just depends and I have yet to decide if I will use what I have or start over. I may even consider a fantasy fiction set of letters. Again, I am not sure but I hope to start on it soon.

As for today, I am excited to go to work though I am hungry and breaking my diet over some coffee cake looks to be an option, i love the coffee cake here.

All my love readers. Be creative today.

Lady X

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