There are few things in this life that scare me. Tonight I felt helpless to help my little girl.
See before I left my now X husband my oldest and middle daughter had night terrors. Since they were pretty young there were lots of tears, lots of them trying to get away and lots of me talking to them, comforting them, trying to bring the out of it. It was tough and scary but once we moved out they had stopped. In a year and a half that we have been on our own it has been rare for my middle one to have one, and my oldest hadn’t had one since we left.
Tonight she had one. And she’s older and this time she talked while having it. My heart ached for her. I held her, felt her fear, listened to her tell me what she could see, felt her try to run away. I spoke to her, trying to soothe her, trying to reach her in her pain, and terror. I looked her in the face, held it in my hands and she couldn’t see me. I yelled out to her that I needed her to come back to me, to wake up, that I was right here, that I had her, that she was safe, that I would keep safe.
She yelled, “I don’t want to die”. She was so scared, I could feel her heart racing as I kept her locked in my arms, I could feel my heart racing and my head pounding, I just kept telling her to wake up, that I was right here. I kept asking her what she was seeing, telling her she was just in mommys room, in my bed with me safe. When she started to come out ofit a little she said she exploded. She started to see where she was I could see the cloud lift from her eyes. I felt flooded with relief that she was out of the awful place that this terror had take her.
It took me a while to stop asking her if she knew where she was. She lies next to me sleeping now. No memories of her bad dreams and what they contained. I lie here praying God lets her sleep in his peace. I even went and got the last child of mine that wasn’t in my room. Tonight I need all my babies with me. I am the luckiest mommy in the world and I going to sleep in the peace that God will stay up late, and watch overme and my girls. Forgive my misspellings, my bad grammar. That’s just the 2am showing.
Hug your babies or pray for them. Let the children sleep peacefully Lord.