Whispered words

My Joseph and I rarely spend time alone. It is a rare occurrence lately. School and work, being a supervisor, 5 kids all the time (not all of these are mine) lead to very little time left over. And since I go to bed most nights by 8pm, this doesn’t even leave us “after the kids are in bed time”. Last night my brother had the kids. A rare chance to spend time together, we didn’t watch movies or tv, we didn’t play games, we didn’t read. We literally just spent time together. Since our time is so few and far between I feel like so much happens in those moments and I wish I could capture them and put them in a jar. 

Lying in his arms, my favorite place to be, he showers me in affection, tells me the most wonderful things. Calls me beautiful a thousand times, tells me I am adorable, kisses me a million times. I could’t stop smiling the entire evening. 

He told me I am the best woman he has ever met. Then my heart melted when he told me that the girls and I give his life purpose, fill him with drive. Make him happier than he has ever been. I support him, and love him without reserve, without expecting nothing more than his love and support in return and he has never had that before.  

I can’t express how happy he makes me, how he takes me as I am, how he loves me no matter how messy my house is, or how crazy my ex husband is. He loves my girls. The most important part of my package deal. He plays with them, helps Faith with her homework when I can’t do the math (blush) And he will stop everything he is doing just to kiss me. 

Consider me completely lost. Over the top lost. Lost to a love that I didn’t even know existed. I’m broke, I have no idea what is going on with my right side, my exhusband is a mean and vindictive man that will spend the rest of his life trying to make my kids think I am a bad mother. But it doesn’t matter. My girls love me and they love Joe, and he loves us. And I really could never ask more than an unconditional love that takes me as I am, never tires of being loved by me. 

I ask Joseph, “Do I say I love you too much?” 

“How could you say that too much?” 

Did I mention I love this man. Sigh. He fed me red and white gummy worms last night. I love him a little more every time he does that. He gives me all of them in the pack. How could I ever ask for more than that kind of love?

Always here,

Lady X

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