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Escape Suburbia

I used to give words freely.

Not only with homeless people on the street, but with my clients, with colleagues, and with strangers. If I saw a need, I would offer a word of encouragement. If I saw something about their life that they simply could not see that would elevate them, I spoke words of life into them.

But then over and over again, I experienced an unusual phenomenon. I had a 60-year-old female attach yourself to me, after only a brief meeting. I had a dangerous stalker in his 20s and I had another one in his 60s, who messaged me 3000 times. In each case, I had only delivered brief words of encouragement. A man I had never met, irrationally signed his messages with, your future husband.

So here’s what I noticed.

This is a phenomenon in the psychology industry known as transference.

When you fill a…

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