Too fast 

It goes too fast. I watched a video on Facebook showing a days perspective from both the mom and the little girl. What seems ordinary to us is magic to them. Kids can often see so much more than we can.  I want to see life through that lens. The lens that life is magical.... Continue Reading →

#1113

The keys have been turned in. The door locked behind me. The place that started my freedom. Apartment #1113. I am only slightly melancholy that we moved. That place was tiny, and we had outgrown the space since our family had grown from 4 ladies roughing it, to a family of five with a man of... Continue Reading →

They made it!

So we bought our wedding bands from a shop in China cause we are broke and because we liked them. Well I was starting to worry that they would arrive in time for the 31st. I started feeling anxious. This morning one of the two shipping tracking numbers they had given me said it had... Continue Reading →

As the day approaches

I have been sick for like 2 weeks now.  It is wearing thin on my patience as this Thanksgiving is important. More important to me than usual. Since it is almost always about food, I am currently excited about what it means for changes in my life, and the lives of my girls. See my Joseph... Continue Reading →

She waits

The days is warm But she does not play She waits Teddy bear in hand Hair combed, dress pressed She waits There is no smile on her face No rosiness to her cheeks She waits This night is like the others Her eyes light up and dart to a passing car She waits She sits... Continue Reading →

The deep of the ocean

So many things to say. How to write them all. I worry sometimes at my inability to express all that I feel. Sometimes feelings so much can be overwhelming.  I have realized that I had suppressed so much of how I felt about things in this life that when I finally did remember what it... Continue Reading →

Just Another Day

Yesterday was a pain day. Still suffering this pain that I had surgery over a few months ago. To me surgery failed. To the doctor, you have to wait up to two years to know if it truly failed because of how long it takes for a body to heal, and then heal from the... Continue Reading →

Provision

To me this word has a totally different meaning to me than it did 13 years ago.When I met my now X-husband, I thought that provision was monetary. It meant financially providing for your family. Making sure they have what they need. It never occurred to me that there are other kinds of provision. The... Continue Reading →

Sadness

My heart aches for OK tonight. The loss of so many lives in something so tragic as a tornado. The loss of child life touches my deeply. I want to hug each mommy and daddy and tell them I am so so sorry. Tell them that God has a plan even though in that moment... Continue Reading →

You

I trace the patterns where I felt your skinI smell the sweat of our chemistry mixedI hear the laughter and the giggles of our playI feel the pressure of your body pinning mineA bite here, a tickle thereA wicked smile A squealA sigh A lickA kissI love youI know I have had an amazing few days despite the... Continue Reading →

Whispered words

My Joseph and I rarely spend time alone. It is a rare occurrence lately. School and work, being a supervisor, 5 kids all the time (not all of these are mine) lead to very little time left over. And since I go to bed most nights by 8pm, this doesn't even leave us "after the... Continue Reading →

Wish Granted

So yesterday, when I told Joe that I had to take the girls to their dad's he was sad. He thought we were going to get to go to the park this weekend and have a picnic with the kids. Well it turns out that our wish is granted. My ex calls me yesterday to... Continue Reading →

She made him a Valentine

My oldest Faith is a tough cookie. Out of all the kids my divorce was hardest on her. Not because she wanted me to be unhappy with her dad. But just because she wanted to NOT have a step dad. So she has made baby steps with Joe. She made him an unprompted Valentine. My heart... Continue Reading →

Home Sweet Home

The wonder of being home is having my girls within arms distance. It is wonderful and brilliant and makes my life lighter and easier. I feel very stressed out when the girls aren't home. It is a long and painful weekend when they are gone. There is no end to the worrying and there is... Continue Reading →

Fighting

The other day while Joseph was studying, he looked over at me and said he wondered what my angry face looked like. I thought this was an interesting thing for him to say. So after I giggled I tried my hardest to show him what my angry face would look like were he to be... Continue Reading →

A Weekend Off

I can't remember the last time I had two days off in a row. I haven't had it happen in so long that I want to smash everything I can think of in the two days I have. I also never have the same days off as Joseph. That being said, we stayed up till... Continue Reading →

Grateful

This week has been rough. Seriously testing my limits to what I can stand as far as how many pets I can lose at once. My dearest yorkie Gracie had to be put down after childbirth gone wrong. Leaving us sad and the new parents of her orphan puppy we named Chance.Luci, one of Gracie's offspring also... Continue Reading →

Too Long

I have decided that time can be both too long and too short. And I don't like either. My youngest will be 4 years old next Tuesday. I will be 32 this month. So many things. SO in this case time is too fast. Pushing me past my sane limits to process time, and how... Continue Reading →

Just a moment

I dont have long to write this so I thought I would share a moment with you from night before last. Lying in my bed, reading The Count of Monte Cristo with Joe, listening to the happy sounds of minecraft, my youngest decides its time for kisses. Our cloudy kisses as I m calling them... Continue Reading →

The little things

Point cracks me up the things in this life that truly make me happy. Most of the time it is something small and might be stupid to someone else. For instance my littlest daughters is 3, 4 in October. She and I have our own kiss now. Seen cloudy with a chance of meatballs? Well... Continue Reading →

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